YOUR FRIENDLY DEALERS OF READ

The Jeanie (shagalicious wordslinger) uses the article in front of her name, wears socks with flip-flops, has a hoodie for every season, and a machete for every day of the week.

Jayha (literary badazz) is a pound cake snob, a connoisseur of gummy bears, has a fountain pen fetish, and wants to enact legislation banning anyone with a scrotum from wearing skinny jeans.

Neither The Jeanie nor Jayha will be working out their two-week notice when they come into money. However, there will be epic shenanigans.